I let my meditation practice get away from me over the holidays. Well if I was honest, I let it go after Thanksgiving. Too busy I told myself. Which of course is when you need to slow down and take a few minutes to center yourself. And I didn’t.
So I promised myself that I would get back to it on Monday. My husband’s vacation would be over and routine could come back. Monday morning came and I sat down to meditate. Those were the longest 8 minutes of my life. I so wanted to give up. My thoughts were pinging from one side of my mind to the other. I had lots of good ideas too. I didn’t just want to abandon the roller coaster of thoughts, I wanted to act on a few of them too. Like right then. And I didn’t. I sat with them and showed myself self compassion every time I had to bring my attention back to my breath. You know, like every 10 seconds I had to resist the urge to give myself an eye roll and instead say “OK back to the breath.”
That’s the beauty of meditation. Yes, it can be hard. Every time we practice it gives us a chance to show our self some self compassion. So I stuck with it, and after a few days I sensed the ease of dropping into stillness coming back. I could refocus my attention or slow the roll of my thoughts a little easier. That’s my intention when I practice: to slow the roll of my roller coaster thoughts. It helps broaden and build my ability to stay organized and focused the rest of the day. This means when my mind wanders I say kind things to myself and simply get back to the task at hand. This means my ability to slow down and take my time with what I want to say or do increases and when it doesn’t I show myself self-compassion.
Meditation highlights who we are. When we meditate, we are our selves – unfiltered. And that’s a good thing. Because who you are is fabulous and necessary. Don’t let those roll of thoughts get in your way. Breathe through them. Be yourself. Be kind to yourself.